Thursday, November 27, 2008

Believe, Faith and Hope

I was in the situation where I am 'di dalam pertimbangan'. At one point, as there were too many voices telling me what I should do, I had to keep myself away from those voices because I was totally 'hilang pertimbangan'. I had to put myself together and start thinking for myself instead of other. I set my priorities right and get back on track...

Alhamdulliah, all that has been solve and rectified. I believe in faith.. No matter how you want it to be, if you faith is strong and you believe things happen for a reason, good or bad, it just happens.. At the end of the day, its all 'keputusan aku sendiri..' I hope everyone respect my decision just like how Mak believe in me.. Segala gerak kan datang dari naluri seorang ibu. She knows me better than any other person, Doa ibu itu di makbulkan ALLAH, insya ALLAH.. Amin.

The week has been wonderful and great. It really improve the whole situtation. I'm glad that we talk about it, clear the air and make it better. Communication is as important that any other thing. And I like it settle there and then and you will not have the grudge between each other..

I made a Video call to Y 2 days ago, its was so hilarious.. haahaha.. We both we so 'jakun', it was his 1st video call and we end up laughing non stop.. He said it was raining heavily in the east. I said, its so bright and sunny here at Kallang.. So I made the call, "hey you checking on me eh? haahaha..." It gets addictive followed by a few more V-calls, gosh! Oh I so Love the technology.. But not too much of video call, concern the charges and bill goes up the ceilling!

Its almost at the end of the year. How fast the time flies... Every year I will asked myself, what have I achieve for the year? What have you done, cause things in life, relationship, job.. ALL should gets better. Duniawi and Ukhawi.. All have to bertambah. I'm not a saint lah kan, but you should admit your mistake, cause you can ALWAYS lie to people, but you can lie to yourself. When its your fault, you should say, "Its MY mistake" but not "OUR mistake". There is NO OUR in this case.. Dont blame it on others..

Key words here are:

Rule 1: No Lie or even Excuses - We HAVE practice Honesty.. It hurts, but you just need to know the whole truth, nothing but the truth!

Rule 2. No Secret - We dont keep it from each other.. Even almost EVERYThing.. Yes again, it hurts, but Its for the best of everything..

Ok for now! Adios..

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Getting Hitched

I've receive a wedding invitation from my sec sch classmate Foaad.. Congrats to him. We'll see you 27th December 2008.

I'm extremely shocked to receive an email from a best pal in KL. He's requesting for my address to send invitation card! I had to call him, I had to asked "you jangan main main eh? Betul ke tidak ni?" He is one of those guy friend who never BELIEVE in getting married... I think! sorry you bloody chendol! But I'm glad, extremely delighted to hear that coming from him. I bluntly said,"ya lah dulu aku nak kau, kau tak nak dgn aku..." hahaha... I dont know, if I can make it on the 20th December 2008 to KL.. Congrats Bro, Finally!

We had our kenduri at my place over the weekend. Alhamdulliah it turn out good. Its just a family gathering.. Doa for Fidz - Norafida bte Ismail that she's save departing to Mekah and arrive back home too.. Insya ALLAH.

Fourteen years back, I remembered this date. It was a Faithful Friday, back in 1994. I know pretty well what day it was, and what was going on that evening. I told Nya' I do not want to go home straight after work. That late afternoon, we sat down at Changi Beach instead. Watching the airplane passes by over our head. We start counting the flight and guess what airline it is.. As the plane passes by, it leaves a loud sound and I scream cause I bet no one can hear me.. That was the faithful date when Y had his Solemization.. The day he Nikah. I clearly remembered that.. But I never attend it, never want to be there watching you Dear!

Yet again, I still feel that its all about Jodoh. If its meant to be then it is.. Yes or No its still up to HIM to decide. We can plan it, but still its all up to HIM.. I can only hope for the best for me... Amin.

Racun itu pahit! Just hope I dont have to swallow it anymore.. Never!

lastly.. Happy Birthday Raudz!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Space for Changes

Alhamdulliah, ALLAH telah membuka jalan and memberi pertunjuk di atas semua kebenaran. Aku bersyukur kerana kuat menghadapi nya.

The space is there for all changes and amendments. I believe that things happends for a reason. And I will always be here for you.

Everyone makes mistakes, its a matter of how you want it amended.

I will still be here, but you need to give me the time...

My faith is with you, Always!

Monday, November 10, 2008

back track..

I've been in touch with my Sec School mates this days. Been viewing the old time pictures, seriously right, it looks so 'kental' hahaha.. I've been trying to peel of those pictures from my old paste album but I'm concern that I might tear it off.. That will be even worst.

I woke up this morning, feeling good about things. With so much positive vibes around me. Yesterday's conversation with a friend really makes me open my mind thru a lot of things. We talk about anything under the sun. I wasnt really close to this friend back in school. No doubt, we talk beside saying the usual Hi and Bye, but we didnt really share anything personal. People SHOULD change over the years, but if that person remain the same even after more than 10 years then something is not right some where.. Seriously! With all that everyone gone thru, you should change, either in looks.. most of the guys, after they got married, they either grow side ways or lost of hair hahah.. The ladies, after married, you either put on more after given birth or otherwise. If you remind the same, in appearance and also in thinking and character, then I am wondering why! So you either change for the better or opposite..

There were so much memories back in school. Not forgetting the crushes I had with this person and that person. There were also people who refuse to speak to me at all knowing I like them. They dont feeling flattered at all. Well I'm a clear cut 'selengeh' looking k heehehe.. How could anyone possibly be attracted to me, oh gosh. Its a laughing matter, thinking back, never feel kecik hati at all. But its a most wonderful memories that I can tell my children one day haahahaa..

Just like what my friend said, all this make one stronger. No doubt wiser, its all part of life. SO Grow up and MOVE ON! It not like we are living in the teens anymore. Its time to make decision and plan, whats best for you.

I am so into going back on memory lane..

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Anything but Anuar!

On impulsive act, I bought a the 2nd highest price tickets to Anuar Zain's Concert. Ayah suggested that Mak go along with me to enjoy the moment. The decision about going was only made on Thursday at 5pm. Went online, Ayah handed the his card and book them! And that evening, went to collect them.

Honestly, I knew it very very very well, that if I didnt get to go I will be at home thinking "must miss lagu itu and lagu ini." However, I'm sad that Nya' couldnt come with me. She miss ALL of those shows with Anuar. Takpe Nya' kalau ALLAH izinkan, sampai bila bila pun akan ada pertemuan nya.. Just remember the moment on the phone with him few years back Nya', that will make you feel real goooood...

So there I was with Mak, left home after Maghrib to Esplanade. Feeling excited, at the same time I know that I will meet people. There were some who claim that they will SURE meet me...

I sing along to ALL the songs, the opening of Keabadian Cinta, then somewhere in the middle was Permata and at the end were Teman Terulung. That really reminded me to Nazrah, I keep telling Mak, "ni lagu Naz, Mak."

PlayPause is responsible for all the Creative Flyers & souvenior Programme.. WELL DONE PlayPause! Syabas.

The crowd was a bit noise, I was expecting to 'tangkap feel' listening to the slow numbers just like how i listen to them over MP3 when you're feeling down.

The usual people are still as faithful as us, Diana, Gee, Tini and a few more of those from our previous Hang Out Raya Gang. I'm sure Zee and Wan will feel the warm that Anuar given when he meet the person, he will make you feel important. Then you will keep coming and coming..

Ok, enough of that. Today there are wedding and kenduri to attend.. On a different note, I'm feeling slightly better and calmer, Alhamdulliah..

Enjoy the reminding of a wonderful Sunday!

Through out the WHOLE show, my mind and heart was somewhere else. You never left my heart, trust me.. I'm sorry Abang. This is for you..

Hanya Milikmu

Aku tak salahkan hatimu,
Bila harap itu tak ada,
Tak relakan bila terjadi,
hanya waktu yang tentukan.

ku ingin kuatkan hatimu (setiamu),
Yakin ku hanyalah milikmu,
Besar cintaku tak berubah,
Walau kini rasa itu luluhkan hatimu.

Ku hanya milik mu,
Coba kau rasa yakinnya hatiku,
Meski kau tinggalkan,
Masih ku milikmu,
Mengertikah bila cinta ini,
Tak akan pernah sedikit pun pudar,
Selain untuk mu (untuk mu).

Ku harapkan hanya padamu,
Ketulusan ini nanti kan ku jalani,
Tetap ku milikmu,
Mengertikah bila cinta ini,
Memang tak pernah sedikit pun pudar,
Selain untuk mu


Thursday, November 06, 2008

pantai dah berubah..

Something has gone wrong... Test been more challenging. I'm going thru another test in life.

I am able to take it calmly, yet again, if its meant to be then its meant to be..

ALLAH menentukan segalanya, Hanya dia yang tahu apa yang kita Tidak ketahui. Kebenaran akan terbukit kelak Insya ALLAH. Setiap sesuatu itu terjadi ada hikmah nya. Aku Redha akan ketentuan nya. Segala nya datang dari NYA.

Doakan agar Aku lebih kuat menghadapi segala nya ini. Insya ALLAH.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

There are things in life that you know very well that you’re not willing to let go off. You still hold on to those things from the past and ponder over it wonder why this and why that.

Lately I had the time to myself, sitting down somewhere quiet and peaceful, re think about things and considering over matter if I’m at the right path. I use to do that a lot especially when I’m feeling confuse over things and time some time to myself. I did that on a lovely Saturday afternoon at Clarke Quay (near Moulana Mosque) spending more than an hour there.

I went all the way back 10years back, thinking what has happen to people from the past. Hope he is doing fine with his family, if he has another child already. His daughter must have already 5years old right now. Ya, he was my first love.. Was he? I was 26yrs old that time.. Then I recall back, the person I thought was my 1st love, actually he was not. It was someone else back when I was 21yrs old! It was Y..

I received THE wedding invitation last Saturday, sms the Groom thanking him for the invitation. I said, glad that you met your ‘jodoh’ not knowing that the person is so near to you all this while. He replied back, “she was the person who initiate and persuade me to get to know you when you 1st join us back then.”

That night, on the phone with Y. Before even I get to tell Y about it, he already sense it. He said to me last night, “I think He still thinks of you..” Alah, I baru nak story what he said to me, you already said that.. No lah, come on, he must be greatful that there is someone who appreciate him more not like I do. I know its not easy to forget whats in the past. I’m sorry, I’ve cause all the hurt. I will doakan the best for him, Insya ALLAH.. He will has a the new challenge, an instant Teenage Daughter..

I thought that I’ll be asked to attend a conference this Friday, to help out in the event. Unfortunately (or fortunately) I don’t have to go, but then, I’ll be all alone in the office when all my ‘gangs’ going away half day. Then I will have to lunch alone… But I know I dont have to stay late and going home alone from the jauh venue the held it..

I just got a called, I've got people telling me things. But its alright, I do not wish to jump into conclusion. Back to what I said time and again, If it happens, then it happens lah.. Biarlah Takdir menentukan. HE know what the best for hamba2 nya. Its ok to listen to things, but open you mind and absorb it. Then you know how to act on it..

I love my off day..