Saturday, January 31, 2009

Still Holiday Mood..

The week has been great, too much 'lemak' with the holidays.. Last week super long weekend, and this week there's another long weekend for us in HAS. Its HAS Anniversary on 1st Feb in which Monday is a Holiday for us.. Thought we could get a 'get away' on the 2nd half of the day unfortunately.. its too late to slot in the application.. May have breakfast with Riah at Geylang or something on Monday. Feel like shopping..

Its almost February.. time is really moving fast. Went visiting Kak Liza in Raffles Hospital last night, had dinner at Banquet Raffles. She had a minor operation, she's getting better. Anyway, I was surprise to see an old student from Tumble Tots all grown up in Sec 2 now. Helmi was so cute back then in 1985-1986, he was only I think 6mths to a year back then. His father Zul is so familiar when I saw them, not knowing he's actually Yazid reservist friend! Small world. His wife asked how many kids I've got. Wanted to say 3 haaah.. Told her I'm still not married, she was surprise.. I can see that.

Met Nani this morning, her grandpa's staying just next my block. And he just passes on last night. So I thought, I should go 'melawat' alone. Cause I know Yazid's working on afternoon shift today. He seldom allow me to go places alone! I get to intro Mak and Tok to Mak Ngah and all. I remembered Nani's grandpa's family. They were our old neighbours from Blk 9. Not a stranger to us. Nani's aunt asked who's that sitting on the corner, she said, "tu my cousin punya future wife." Terbeliak mata hearing her said that.. I know Ina, her aunt, I told her I'm Pak Haji Jantan Iman's granddaughter.. she remembered..

Actually, I was pretty much looking forward for early Feb. Unfortunately, I was much much dissappointed with the turn out. Despite so much arrangement and getting feedback on how its gonna be and where, I am truly sad that it didnt happen at all. The chalet booked has been paid for by Yudi, compliments from him actually. He ws so besar hati to have sponsored the Chalet unit. And I've made the catering order from Suhaimi/Yuni from Changi Village. From the start, Yazid didnt actually encourge me to get involve in this gathering. He suggest that I just take the back seat and come as guest instead. But I told him that I'm only assisting in sending out gathering information, thats all. I may not be able to assist or getting myself involve very much in the future cause soon I'll be busy with 'the family'.. Maybe you guys got to wait for my wedding for another reunion gathering. Maybe year end or next year..

Perhaps I'm going out with 'my daughter' Nadiah on Monday afternoon then.. After she finishes school maybe.

Its weekend again.. I just LOVE weekend..

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Its all about Impromptu..

Initially, I was inform that the picnic with Yazid's cousins are cancelled. In which, was told to get ready early as Andak is coming to fetch us to CCK1 by 10am. I've already ordered kueh for the picnic, its all about rezeki as well. Brought some to CCK1. Was there for a few hours, right after zohor, we all came back home.. I was disspointed that the outing didnt happen, most important is the earlier plan I had with Nadiah for a picnic didnt make it at all.

I receive Nani's call at almost 3pm, asking if I'm coming! I was totally puzzled, was is going on now and what was the conversation the cousins had the day before. Actually I was heated up. Extremely heated up! Yazid told me to get change and will fetch me in 10mins.

Ok at least I was delighted to see the kids, didnt see them since school re-open. But I didnt stop 'talking' in the car and he practically see my moody 'tapai basi' face all shown.. The minute I reached the cousins site at East Coast Beach, everything just change. It was my first time meeting the other cousin, except for Mak Ngah, Suria and Nani the rest are new to me. Surprisingly, I met an Fellow Sec Sch mate, who's Fidz clasmate who's married to Yazid's cousin, Imran. The world is so small.. Rashidah Jalil, is married to Imran, anak Mak Ngah. I met Mak Lang and Memel, Yazid's another close cousin, Miss Nis's sister.

I was totally myself yesterday, I do not have anything to concile. Too bad we didnt have bring camera along, I glad to held baby Qadri again.. Lucky things, Naqiyah's tuition cancelled yesterday or else, imagine having so much fun you'll have to leave home for the sake of tuition... I am so going to make excuses for not attending it. Believe me, been there done that!

We ended the day with dinner at Marine Parade Hawker Centre. I really enjoy the day indeed. Reached home almost 10pm, dont feel like ending the evening. I hope they are comfortable with me..

Today I had time for myself, I get to sit down and think what is going on with myself. There is something not right with me. It all happen just weeks ago, I got pretty angry over something. Actually I didnt had that attitude for the longest time. Its my Temper. I remember having it back in SH days. But its years since I really that hot tempered.

Well that few weeks incident was the start of everything. But I realise that this days, I've not been able to control things. Yesterday, I just vent it out again, over something that didnt affect me directly. But today was the peak, I either got mad or cried. Its either the hormons or the attitude.. Yes, I realise it. Is not that I didnt. Thanks to some people who pointed me out.

I will have to learn to control things. Because I know there is more challenges than just that. There will be more test that I'll have to go thru. I know I can do it..

I'm very sorry that I'm just being unreasonable, Bie. I think sorry is just not enough..

Saturday, January 24, 2009

The Long Weekend..

Let me see, what have I been doing for the past weeks? Nothing much actually.. Apart from working till 12noon now, except on Wednesday, I work full day. The rest is pretty much the same.

I've not been meeting the kids this days since school re-open. Perhaps, this holidays. I just receive a call from Nani, Yazid's cousin, asking if we wanna join them for Picnic on Monday morning. I was actually planning the same with Nadia a few days back. So how I'll have to decide what shall I bring. I leave it to Yazid, he's the boss. Anyway, I will just follow.

I've been occuppied with planning for the batch reunion. With the help of R.Mahmud, her opinion is very much appreciated. Furthermore I've receive good feedback on the reunion and I hope its gonna happen. Our fellow classmate Yudi, has agreed to sponsor us with the chalet unit. Thanks to him for the help.

Tmrw, there will be a Mega Forum organized by Masjid Hj Mohd Salleh, Geylang at Tampines Stadium. They are selling Coupons for the event at the same time collection for upgrading of the Masjid. Its free, please feel free to drop by. I'll be there too..

The sun outside seems brighter then any other day.. Maybe because Holiday starts today! Enjoy the week.. next week, you work only 3days before the next weekend comes.. Fuyooo.. Shiok!

Sunday, January 18, 2009

I'm Engaged!

How do I explain this eh.. I had too many people asking, feeling kecik hati because they were not inform and not being told!

Yes, I'm engaged. I'm in a Relationship with Yazid Osman, we were serious about our relationship. And we finally decided, this is the one and we do not wish to be seperated anymore.

And then he Asked the 'that' question somewhere late November 2008, and I said YES! Only after the 3rd time he asked me, we finally stop by a Jewellery shop and he bought me a Ring!

So THERE was No Majlis Tunang Lanang or Engagement Ceremony. I told some friend that, we Tunang Mat Salleh Style.. So thats why there was no jemputan. It was just between us and the family. Thats all. I do not wish to go through anyother majlis Tunang Lanang. Tunggu aje when the Big Day comes, Insya ALLAH. Amin..

I hope this clarifies, I didn't jemput cause there was no majlis.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

There are things that you want to do thats challenging, but situation don't allow you to do that.. So you will be just stay on with what you have and stay save keeping what you have...

I know very well that ALLAH know what is best for you, HE give you some, but instead take away some. At least things are balance and its all up to you to decide and remember/think of him when you're in need.. There is always unhappines everywhere. When you're not happy, talk things out. Not everyone is the same, there are up's and down's in life. Person A might have to deal with things at home and family, Person B may not be physically fit and health. So everyone has problems and things cannot be change overnight. We have to look at ourselves in the mirror. We have to think, "what if.. things like this happen to me instead of them.." You might never know. So dont point figure at people, cause the other 4 fingers are pointing at you.

The week has been OK for me.. but bothered with stuff surrounding that is going on. I should not be affected by it, but things that happen involved people close and dear to me. So I cant help but be bothered about it. Yazid said "you ni kancong ah.." Ya, thats me, people who know me very very well knows that I'm such a kancong. But that me.. I'm concern that why I reacted like that.. But just dont make me mad, you'll never want to see how madness gets into me. And Yazid have seen that before. So who ever just accuse me of things, trigger my button and spoilt my mood, betrayed my trust.. Thats it! You're gonna see the White Tiger go crazy!! But I dont eat people lah kan, but you're gonna see the Tiger Roar! hahaha.. Seriously!

Most of the time, if I'm bothered with things, you will see it clearly from my reaction, my movements. When I kept silent means something wrong is going on. Thats the time when I absorb on things and start thinking. Sometimes, I love to be alone for a while, go around places, take a long walk and thats when you think straight! I will not let it out there and then, because it might turn out to be something nasty. So I rather stay alone for a while and when things just sink into my brain, I will think straight.

But NOT all things can be better solve when you're alone. There are some people who speaks to other people whom they call friends when you're alone and lonely. But you might never know if you really speaking to the right person, they might manipulate your mind. Thats a wrong move all together. Not everyone has good intention, so you have to be very careful with that. You might fall into their trap! There are a lot of cases where relationship is concern, you talk to the wrong person and it end up in a big mess! We do not want that to happen. You have to get back on track and stay focus with things and at the end of the day, you SHOULD come back to your original partner.. You have to know where you stand.. Setan and Influence are everywhere, so dont fall into the trap! So yet again, you have to play save. dont make that mistake! Better not to late to come back on track.

I'm glad that we talking about it, about things. I will not keep it for long and let me head be occuppied with negativity. I've learn not to keep it but instead let it out and get it solve soonest...

Ok, Enough said, everyone is not perfect. Everybody makes mistakes. Its a matter on how you gonna deal with it and things.. Its all up to you. Hope for the best, Doa to HIM cause only HE knows whats best for you, Insya ALLAH..

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Thank You, It didn't happen...

On this date, 03.01.2003! This day was suppose to be important to me. Had it all planned out until suddenly two month before this day, it was OFF. I was devastated, can't face everyone. Its been 6 years. However I'm GLAD it didn't happen.

Thank You W, For not letting The Day Happened. Or I've not have met this Man Again.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Wonderful 2008, Hello to 2009..

Some of the best moments in life... Lying in bed listening to the rain outside, thinking about the person you love, taking a long drive on a calm road, found money in your old jeans just when you need it, Meeting an old flame after many years, getting a hug from someone you love, the moment your eyes are filled with tears after a big laugh..

Wishing you all these beautiful moments for you, Now & Always. Blesses New Year 2009. From Reza Dz - KL.

I suddenly feel very emotional about leaving 2008. All those are what I've been through. Its been a wonderful one for me, the up's and down, the challenges and test that went through. The tears and the laughter.. Its been great.

Hidier and Zafeera got married in February 2008. We were "ASSISTING" them arranging and preparing their wedding. Cousin were all with him to SUPPORT.

The year begin when a Temp job i got in AFC, but it didnt last for long. Along the way, I was still in search of old friend. I guess I was doing some sole searching as well. Until I receive news from Zaleha in early April 2008, that an old flame that I was asking around for was just been face with a mishap. I cant help but think of him, how are things with him, how is he coping with the lost.. Honestly, I know what am I capable of doing. I know what will happen if I get myself involve with him.. Honestly, I know all along if I get in touch with him, it can lead to something serious..

But I just email and stupidly left my contact number on my signature.. Only realise it after I hit the send button.. Getting a reply from him 2 weeks after that was something I'm so happy about, but I told myself.. its not the right time as yet! He only called after a month, I was delighted actually.. But I am still in the state of denial.. He sounded the same, addresses me the same way like he use to do 15years ago. Cause only he call me Ris.. And we meet for the 1st time after 15years in early June.

I left AFC, they didnt renew my contract. I had to tell someone cause I was really.. He was there for me when I was down. But before that he was trying to 'rule' me. I cant stand it.. told him, I need space and its not time yet for you to tell me what I should do and monitoring my movements. Lucky me, got a new Part Time job at HAS in early July. He was there still, giving me the faith that I will get the job after the interview.

Things were moving on fast, we pick up from where we left.. so we dont really have to start from the top. There were voices who dont agree with the new relationship. I finally told Mak and Ayah, and they 'restu'. Things were slightly tense with my close ones, was not like before. Things happen at the right time and he came at the time when I need company.

August was my 1st birthday celebration with someone Dearest to me.. It was Nadiah's birthday too.. That was when the children gets involved. Things move on slowly with them, my 1st meet up with Nabil when he came to fetch me at Darul Aman.

September, Ramadhan came with so much emotion, we meet up everyday for Terawih. He met with a minor accident on 15Sept, 15Ramadhan. It strengthen things between us. Then the final meet up with the kids were in October during Raya and my 1st meet up with Naqiyah. There were more hang out time with Nadiah. We get very comfortable with each other.

The toughest challenge was the whole month of November, the test was up to the max. It was a test on how much faith, trust and love we had for one another. There we 'uninvited guest' involved. Things get tense with best friend, they were worried and concern with me. I had to make my move.. Making my own decision.

I Finally reveal Yazid to my blog world. At the same time, our common friend got to know about us. We were finally seen together pretty often, friends, colleagues, relatives. He finally Proposed! In which I didnt mention it here.. We went Vivo, passed by CitiGems, he bought me a ring. I'm engaged on 22/11/2008.

Fida got selected for MUIS Medical Haj team and left in Early December. Angah and Cik Ijah left the same day as well. They are all back save yesterday after 1 month there. Fida's 1st birthday away from all of us..

Yazid's 1st birthday with me. We had our activities line up all plan with Nadiah. We spend the whole day together..

Close friends got married this year. There were Rohana M, Foaad, Feisal Dzl. Congrats to them. Best Friend, Nurul gave birth on 29th December too..

My year has been revolved with Yazid and the children. I'm happy and feeling great about it. I know there will be more to come..

Happy New Year again..