I'm Engaged!

How do I explain this eh.. I had too many people asking, feeling kecik hati because they were not inform and not being told!

Yes, I'm engaged. I'm in a Relationship with Yazid Osman, we were serious about our relationship. And we finally decided, this is the one and we do not wish to be seperated anymore.

And then he Asked the 'that' question somewhere late November 2008, and I said YES! Only after the 3rd time he asked me, we finally stop by a Jewellery shop and he bought me a Ring!

So THERE was No Majlis Tunang Lanang or Engagement Ceremony. I told some friend that, we Tunang Mat Salleh Style.. So thats why there was no jemputan. It was just between us and the family. Thats all. I do not wish to go through anyother majlis Tunang Lanang. Tunggu aje when the Big Day comes, Insya ALLAH. Amin..

I hope this clarifies, I didn't jemput cause there was no majlis.

There are things that you want to do thats challenging, but situation don't allow you to do that.. So you will be just stay on with what you have and stay save keeping what you have...

I know very well that ALLAH know what is best for you, HE give you some, but instead take away some. At least things are balance and its all up to you to decide and remember/think of him when you're in need.. There is always unhappines everywhere. When you're not happy, talk things out. Not everyone is the same, there are up's and down's in life. Person A might have to deal with things at home and family, Person B may not be physically fit and health. So everyone has problems and things cannot be change overnight. We have to look at ourselves in the mirror. We have to think, "what if.. things like this happen to me instead of them.." You might never know. So dont point figure at people, cause the other 4 fingers are pointing at you.

The week has been OK for me.. but bothered with stuff surrounding that is going on. I should not be affected by it, but things that happen involved people close and dear to me. So I cant help but be bothered about it. Yazid said "you ni kancong ah.." Ya, thats me, people who know me very very well knows that I'm such a kancong. But that me.. I'm concern that why I reacted like that.. But just dont make me mad, you'll never want to see how madness gets into me. And Yazid have seen that before. So who ever just accuse me of things, trigger my button and spoilt my mood, betrayed my trust.. Thats it! You're gonna see the White Tiger go crazy!! But I dont eat people lah kan, but you're gonna see the Tiger Roar! hahaha.. Seriously!

Most of the time, if I'm bothered with things, you will see it clearly from my reaction, my movements. When I kept silent means something wrong is going on. Thats the time when I absorb on things and start thinking. Sometimes, I love to be alone for a while, go around places, take a long walk and thats when you think straight! I will not let it out there and then, because it might turn out to be something nasty. So I rather stay alone for a while and when things just sink into my brain, I will think straight.

But NOT all things can be better solve when you're alone. There are some people who speaks to other people whom they call friends when you're alone and lonely. But you might never know if you really speaking to the right person, they might manipulate your mind. Thats a wrong move all together. Not everyone has good intention, so you have to be very careful with that. You might fall into their trap! There are a lot of cases where relationship is concern, you talk to the wrong person and it end up in a big mess! We do not want that to happen. You have to get back on track and stay focus with things and at the end of the day, you SHOULD come back to your original partner.. You have to know where you stand.. Setan and Influence are everywhere, so dont fall into the trap! So yet again, you have to play save. dont make that mistake! Better not to late to come back on track.

I'm glad that we talking about it, about things. I will not keep it for long and let me head be occuppied with negativity. I've learn not to keep it but instead let it out and get it solve soonest...

Ok, Enough said, everyone is not perfect. Everybody makes mistakes. Its a matter on how you gonna deal with it and things.. Its all up to you. Hope for the best, Doa to HIM cause only HE knows whats best for you, Insya ALLAH..

Thank You, It didn't happen...

On this date, 03.01.2003! This day was suppose to be important to me. Had it all planned out until suddenly two month before this day, it was OFF. I was devastated, can't face everyone. Its been 6 years. However I'm GLAD it didn't happen.

Thank You W, For not letting The Day Happened. Or I've not have met this Man Again.

Wonderful 2008, Hello to 2009..

Some of the best moments in life... Lying in bed listening to the rain outside, thinking about the person you love, taking a long drive on a calm road, found money in your old jeans just when you need it, Meeting an old flame after many years, getting a hug from someone you love, the moment your eyes are filled with tears after a big laugh..

Wishing you all these beautiful moments for you, Now & Always. Blesses New Year 2009. From Reza Dz - KL.

I suddenly feel very emotional about leaving 2008. All those are what I've been through. Its been a wonderful one for me, the up's and down, the challenges and test that went through. The tears and the laughter.. Its been great.

Hidier and Zafeera got married in February 2008. We were "ASSISTING" them arranging and preparing their wedding. Cousin were all with him to SUPPORT.

The year begin when a Temp job i got in AFC, but it didnt last for long. Along the way, I was still in search of old friend. I guess I was doing some sole searching as well. Until I receive news from Zaleha in early April 2008, that an old flame that I was asking around for was just been face with a mishap. I cant help but think of him, how are things with him, how is he coping with the lost.. Honestly, I know what am I capable of doing. I know what will happen if I get myself involve with him.. Honestly, I know all along if I get in touch with him, it can lead to something serious..

But I just email and stupidly left my contact number on my signature.. Only realise it after I hit the send button.. Getting a reply from him 2 weeks after that was something I'm so happy about, but I told myself.. its not the right time as yet! He only called after a month, I was delighted actually.. But I am still in the state of denial.. He sounded the same, addresses me the same way like he use to do 15years ago. Cause only he call me Ris.. And we meet for the 1st time after 15years in early June.

I left AFC, they didnt renew my contract. I had to tell someone cause I was really.. He was there for me when I was down. But before that he was trying to 'rule' me. I cant stand it.. told him, I need space and its not time yet for you to tell me what I should do and monitoring my movements. Lucky me, got a new Part Time job at HAS in early July. He was there still, giving me the faith that I will get the job after the interview.

Things were moving on fast, we pick up from where we left.. so we dont really have to start from the top. There were voices who dont agree with the new relationship. I finally told Mak and Ayah, and they 'restu'. Things were slightly tense with my close ones, was not like before. Things happen at the right time and he came at the time when I need company.

August was my 1st birthday celebration with someone Dearest to me.. It was Nadiah's birthday too.. That was when the children gets involved. Things move on slowly with them, my 1st meet up with Nabil when he came to fetch me at Darul Aman.

September, Ramadhan came with so much emotion, we meet up everyday for Terawih. He met with a minor accident on 15Sept, 15Ramadhan. It strengthen things between us. Then the final meet up with the kids were in October during Raya and my 1st meet up with Naqiyah. There were more hang out time with Nadiah. We get very comfortable with each other.

The toughest challenge was the whole month of November, the test was up to the max. It was a test on how much faith, trust and love we had for one another. There we 'uninvited guest' involved. Things get tense with best friend, they were worried and concern with me. I had to make my move.. Making my own decision.

I Finally reveal Yazid to my blog world. At the same time, our common friend got to know about us. We were finally seen together pretty often, friends, colleagues, relatives. He finally Proposed! In which I didnt mention it here.. We went Vivo, passed by CitiGems, he bought me a ring. I'm engaged on 22/11/2008.

Fida got selected for MUIS Medical Haj team and left in Early December. Angah and Cik Ijah left the same day as well. They are all back save yesterday after 1 month there. Fida's 1st birthday away from all of us..

Yazid's 1st birthday with me. We had our activities line up all plan with Nadiah. We spend the whole day together..

Close friends got married this year. There were Rohana M, Foaad, Feisal Dzl. Congrats to them. Best Friend, Nurul gave birth on 29th December too..

My year has been revolved with Yazid and the children. I'm happy and feeling great about it. I know there will be more to come..

Happy New Year again..

New Born Hero II

Went to visit Nya'.. It was very last minute. Left after maghrib to Thomson Medical Centre. Call Shyreen asking what time will she be there.. So didnt really 'janji', if jumpa then jumpa lah..

Fortunately, met her with Amy and the kids, Ash and Tira at the lift lobby.. She looks blur, puzzle and lost. She told me, she just lost her wallet. Reen, kau tak abis abis Reen, penyakit lama kau tak baik baik lagi.. Apa lagi yang kau hilang Reen?? hehehe...

Here are some pictures..

Well, its nice to hold new born baby. This is Nya's 1st born in S'pore.. And reuniting old friends, Shyreen, Nurul and Me after so long.. Too bad didnt get thru Atie much earlier.. At least I get to inform even if it was later..

Baby Muzaffar, ke Muharam ke, Muhaimin ke.. Let the parents decide..

New Born Hero

Nya' Nurul just gave birth to a baby boy this morning at Thomson Medical Centre. She was warded at Room Number 620B (6th Floor) since 5.45am when she sms me.

I have not gotten any details of this new born, but she mms me this..

Congrats to Nurul and Mansor on their new Born.. Nama apa eh. Muharam eh? heehehe..

counting days..

People in FaceBook and Multiply has seen this picture..

Let me Introduce My Man, Md Yazid to Blogspot reader.

The kids are having too much fun. School open in less than a week from now.. The Ayah are done with school books purchase last monday. He had all that done on his 1 week leave. Including the purchase of Madrasah's books, it does cost a huge bomb! Lucky thing, we get to take some books from Nurul Jannah last years P6 for Nurul Naqiyah, it does make a huge difference. Thanks to Kak Liza, we collected them last weekend. I bought them school bags and yesterday the Ayah went to buy other school needs like shoes and stuff. I remembered Mak even buy new personal stuff just for 1st day of school.. So I will try and do what Mak use to do that for us..

Yesterday, they brought me out for dinner. I asked Raudz to tag along.. her 1st time with them. I told her be prepared for the Kecoh-ness... I heard The Girls shouting, "ajak Kakak Raudha..." when The Ayah spoke to me to siap siap.. Ya, Si Aunty Raudha feeling Kakak! heeheh..

Yazid came to fetch us at 8.45pm, we all headed to Parkway Parade. As usual, the kids are 'busy' with playing games.. I brought Nadiah and Raudha shopping at Giant. We came back o the game spot after more than half hour and they still not done!

Drove to East Coast makan place, parking was packed as usual. Sat down and we settle for food. Kakak Raudha pun sifat keibuan feeding Nabil, and the Girls can get along with her.. Slightly disspointed, Yazid and my food was not 'happening' at all.. I went home having a stomach discomfort.. We reached home at 11pm.

Raudha's back from KL and she been talking and telling stories non stop since.. Was away for a week.. so much to tell, hers and mine! Stole a glimpse of A picture from her mobile. So who is that hunky Guy eh? heeheh...

I have a classmate wedding tomorrow at Toa Payoh. It seems that most of the guys are away on a holiday, and others forgotten that its on Saturday instead of Sunday. The rest may not come on the same time.. So I guess, will be attending it on seperate timing from the rest. I just sms Foaad, the groom that I'll be coming with Yazid in the late afternoon or otherwise after maghrib.

Looking forward for another holiday next week. But Yazid will be back to work from Monday onwards.. And its the sign that the 'honeymoon' be over soon.. Back to one or two week Once date! But its ok, endure and patience is the best medicine to test you faith and trust! hahaah...

Its been a Long Week...

The week has been awesome, yet tiring.. Its been a long week...

The MIL was away to KL over the weekend, brought along Naqiyah.. The Ayah took care of the Nadiah and Nabil all alone! Poor Ayah heehehe.. We made plans for the weekend, all line up for the weekend. Unfortunately, the didnt go as plan due to some changes made on Saturday. Right after attending Cik Romlah's son wedding at Pasir Ris, Yazid brought me to meet his cousin, Nani at Yishun. Spoken to Nani before over the phone, that was my 1st time meeting her and I get to meet his Mak Ngah as well. That evening, Nabil insist on bowling at ECP. I was already exhausted and waiting for our turn was a killer to me. The boy was so full of energy playing all the games, including the Ayah and mine! It seems that his skills are getting better, he got the hang on how to bowl well. I came home VERY late, a record breaker.

We attended an ex colleague's brothers wedding at Tampines on Sunday. Brought along Nabil, we met a few of our ex colleagues. Surprise with my presence, they must be wondering where did I come from after 15years they never hear from me.. And suddenly, coming with Yazid and his son! I feel all eyes were watching me feeding the boy, sifat keibuan! hahaha.. I was feeling pretty awkward being watched. Yazid just smile! Happy lah tu..

I was working on Monday, the Ayah was out the whole day to settle the children's school stuff. But he came by to have a surprise lunch with me at Raffles Place.. And the whole 'rakyat jelata' meet him in person that day..

I had to ask him to help me out going around the CD stores to do closing for year end. Its been sooooo long since I last went around doing the collections. At least I know I save on transport spending going from 1 place to another.. At least I get to settle 5 stores in 1 day, unlike other time, I do it for a week..

Today, we are given half day because of tmrw's Christmas holiday. I will have to get use working half day from mid January next year. Yes, my contract will be extended and this time I will be working Morning Half day for Mon, Tues, Thurs and Fri And on Wed I will work full day. Getting ready for Motherhood lah haahah.. But for Yazid, he just receive news from work that He might have to come back to shift work. And that bother him a slightly bit. We will probably solve it together insya ALLAH. Like I told him, if its all solution are to the max tak boleh settle jugak issue ni, Kita Kahwin cepat Sudah Lah! Settle semua hahaha... He laugh, pandai aje selit daun eh.

I'm counting days for Hjh Norafida to come home on 1st Jan 2008. And now I'm trying to look back on what have I done for 2008. To me its a wonderful year, Probably its all because of the 8 for Luck! I'm indeed lucky I must say..

I still remember that today's Siti Shyreen Samad's Birthday.. Happy Birthday to you. Then comes Nurhidayati Ali's birthday on 26th December. Nya' Nurul will be due to give birth on C-Sect on 29th December.. Mudah-mudahan semua selamat Insya ALLAH.

All the years of my life.. I only have Andak Rafid's birthday to wish or celebrate for 15th Dec. However this year, for the 1st time.. there are 3 people celebrating the same occassion..

Happy Birthday to..

Andak Rafid's 40++ Birthday..

My dear Friend, Azlin Abbas (Left) 30th Birthday.. Who is now in HKG on Business Trip

And, Yazid's 38th Birthday celebration yesterday..

Nadiah and me had a celebration planned out since few weeks back. I had my working day swapped and Yazid took a day leave for all of us to spend some quality time together..

We started our day since 12noon, I got ready when he called as they were on their way to fetch me at 11am! Unfortunately, there was a masive jam at ECP in which I waited almost an hour before they arrived.. We went for lunch at Sakura - City Hall area, its Nadiah's favourite.. (mine too actually..).

After lunch, since the Ayah promise the boy that we gonna bowl, he kept insisting on it even when we having lunch.. Nabil was so moody since morning according to Nadiah.. Woke up on the wrong side of the bed or something.. heeheh..

I bought the movie tickets first, we were watching Bolt at Marina Square at 4.45pm.. We have lots of time to bowl since its just next door!

We had dinner at Simpang Bedok, after so much negotiation and merajuk's of Nadiah and the Ayah.. (oopps.. sorry!) It feels like having 4 children to take care off! Aduh! At least everyone end the day happy. Thats most important..

We all had too much enjoyment, end the day at almost 10pm. Everyone was tired, too tired.

We had the most occuppied day spend. Delighted! How I have to work 2 days straight.. Before my next off on Thursday.

Next, we'll have to settle the kids school stuff before the school re-open in less than 2 weeks. Am I like a On-The- Mother- Training or what? haahaha...

down with flu

I guess the Flu has been waiting to 'attack' me when the whole family was down with it. Even more Yazid was on MC last week due to flu and cough. He end up passing it to Nabil and Nadiah instead..

I lost when the cough hit me badly, especially when I felt the bleed taste when I swallow.. Yucks! I had to visit the doctor. True enough, my throat was badly sore and inflamed. I was on 2nd half day MC yesterday.

At least I had another day to rest today. Feeling much better.. Yazid called me every hour to check if I'm ok. Thank You, you...

I had to cancel the outing with Nadiah and Naqiyah. I should get better for the Monday's outing instead..

Yesterday's Fida's Birthday and also her Wedding Anniversary with Juhari..

Got to Go..

Home and Away..

The week has been occuppied with entertaining people. Attending to guest at home, busy spending time with family and love ones.

Last Friday, I was out with Yazid to Vivo. We've been going to Vivo this days, ever since Nadiah told him, "Ayah, Vivo is Aunty Noris's fav place tau!" I like when we both just sit down and talk about things, everything after spending time at dinner. It really helps to clear things if there are doubt not clarified. I'm beginning to learn and know Yazid even better now. Things that I never knew that happen in his life. We still talk about how I left without saying a word 15years back and all that...

Last weekend, we had a family makan session at Restu Tampines. Jojo has asked all of us out dinner with Fidz, Mak and Ayah, Raudz and Me. Jojo had asked Yazid and the kids along, however they had prior plan and so they couldnt make it. But we made video calls to each other..

So just last Wednesday, 3rd December 2008, Fidz departed for Haj trip together with the medical team. Doakan dia selamat and sihat menjalan kan tugas nya di sana, Amin.

We all send her to the airport that day. Jojo came slightly later because he had to attend course and sit for an exam the week after. Yazid came to the Terminal to send Fidz off as well. That was Yazid's 1st time meeting Mama, Mak Uda and Mak Adik. Cousin Mala and Azmi was here too, well they are no stranger to him because the 4 of us were working in the same roof more than 10 years back. Thanks for the kind words Mala, Doa for us, Insya ALLAH.

Everyone fall ill after sending Fidz to the airport.. Raudz and Ayah already lose their voices and start coughing. Later that night, Yazid lost his voice and the fever came back, followed by Tok down with Flu and cough. I was feeling uncomfortable already, get myself some Vitamin C and Panadol Flu Max! Sedia kan Payung sebelum hujan hahah... And last night, my cough gets harder. And so as Mak's.. Everyone is not well. I hope Fidz doing good there Insya ALLAH.. And hope Jojo's sihat too.. Kesian dia sorang sorang.

Nabil's down with fever too, yesterday I just heard Nadiah coughing as well.. Semua orang sakit lah.. macam mana nak Raya ni?? heehehe..

Today, we're invited to Safia's Savanah BBQ. I hope the kids are well so they can be there as well.. Insya ALLAH..

My swap off has been approve for 15 Dec, Monday. So as Yazid's AL..The girls has plan lined up. Let them plan it, and the Ayah drive us..

Its Raya on Monday.. Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Adha everyone.

Believe, Faith and Hope

I was in the situation where I am 'di dalam pertimbangan'. At one point, as there were too many voices telling me what I should do, I had to keep myself away from those voices because I was totally 'hilang pertimbangan'. I had to put myself together and start thinking for myself instead of other. I set my priorities right and get back on track...

Alhamdulliah, all that has been solve and rectified. I believe in faith.. No matter how you want it to be, if you faith is strong and you believe things happen for a reason, good or bad, it just happens.. At the end of the day, its all 'keputusan aku sendiri..' I hope everyone respect my decision just like how Mak believe in me.. Segala gerak kan datang dari naluri seorang ibu. She knows me better than any other person, Doa ibu itu di makbulkan ALLAH, insya ALLAH.. Amin.

The week has been wonderful and great. It really improve the whole situtation. I'm glad that we talk about it, clear the air and make it better. Communication is as important that any other thing. And I like it settle there and then and you will not have the grudge between each other..

I made a Video call to Y 2 days ago, its was so hilarious.. haahaha.. We both we so 'jakun', it was his 1st video call and we end up laughing non stop.. He said it was raining heavily in the east. I said, its so bright and sunny here at Kallang.. So I made the call, "hey you checking on me eh? haahaha..." It gets addictive followed by a few more V-calls, gosh! Oh I so Love the technology.. But not too much of video call, concern the charges and bill goes up the ceilling!

Its almost at the end of the year. How fast the time flies... Every year I will asked myself, what have I achieve for the year? What have you done, cause things in life, relationship, job.. ALL should gets better. Duniawi and Ukhawi.. All have to bertambah. I'm not a saint lah kan, but you should admit your mistake, cause you can ALWAYS lie to people, but you can lie to yourself. When its your fault, you should say, "Its MY mistake" but not "OUR mistake". There is NO OUR in this case.. Dont blame it on others..

Key words here are:

Rule 1: No Lie or even Excuses - We HAVE practice Honesty.. It hurts, but you just need to know the whole truth, nothing but the truth!

Rule 2. No Secret - We dont keep it from each other.. Even almost EVERYThing.. Yes again, it hurts, but Its for the best of everything..

Ok for now! Adios..

Getting Hitched

I've receive a wedding invitation from my sec sch classmate Foaad.. Congrats to him. We'll see you 27th December 2008.

I'm extremely shocked to receive an email from a best pal in KL. He's requesting for my address to send invitation card! I had to call him, I had to asked "you jangan main main eh? Betul ke tidak ni?" He is one of those guy friend who never BELIEVE in getting married... I think! sorry you bloody chendol! But I'm glad, extremely delighted to hear that coming from him. I bluntly said,"ya lah dulu aku nak kau, kau tak nak dgn aku..." hahaha... I dont know, if I can make it on the 20th December 2008 to KL.. Congrats Bro, Finally!

We had our kenduri at my place over the weekend. Alhamdulliah it turn out good. Its just a family gathering.. Doa for Fidz - Norafida bte Ismail that she's save departing to Mekah and arrive back home too.. Insya ALLAH.

Fourteen years back, I remembered this date. It was a Faithful Friday, back in 1994. I know pretty well what day it was, and what was going on that evening. I told Nya' I do not want to go home straight after work. That late afternoon, we sat down at Changi Beach instead. Watching the airplane passes by over our head. We start counting the flight and guess what airline it is.. As the plane passes by, it leaves a loud sound and I scream cause I bet no one can hear me.. That was the faithful date when Y had his Solemization.. The day he Nikah. I clearly remembered that.. But I never attend it, never want to be there watching you Dear!

Yet again, I still feel that its all about Jodoh. If its meant to be then it is.. Yes or No its still up to HIM to decide. We can plan it, but still its all up to HIM.. I can only hope for the best for me... Amin.

Racun itu pahit! Just hope I dont have to swallow it anymore.. Never!

lastly.. Happy Birthday Raudz!

Space for Changes

Alhamdulliah, ALLAH telah membuka jalan and memberi pertunjuk di atas semua kebenaran. Aku bersyukur kerana kuat menghadapi nya.

The space is there for all changes and amendments. I believe that things happends for a reason. And I will always be here for you.

Everyone makes mistakes, its a matter of how you want it amended.

I will still be here, but you need to give me the time...

My faith is with you, Always!

back track..

I've been in touch with my Sec School mates this days. Been viewing the old time pictures, seriously right, it looks so 'kental' hahaha.. I've been trying to peel of those pictures from my old paste album but I'm concern that I might tear it off.. That will be even worst.

I woke up this morning, feeling good about things. With so much positive vibes around me. Yesterday's conversation with a friend really makes me open my mind thru a lot of things. We talk about anything under the sun. I wasnt really close to this friend back in school. No doubt, we talk beside saying the usual Hi and Bye, but we didnt really share anything personal. People SHOULD change over the years, but if that person remain the same even after more than 10 years then something is not right some where.. Seriously! With all that everyone gone thru, you should change, either in looks.. most of the guys, after they got married, they either grow side ways or lost of hair hahah.. The ladies, after married, you either put on more after given birth or otherwise. If you remind the same, in appearance and also in thinking and character, then I am wondering why! So you either change for the better or opposite..

There were so much memories back in school. Not forgetting the crushes I had with this person and that person. There were also people who refuse to speak to me at all knowing I like them. They dont feeling flattered at all. Well I'm a clear cut 'selengeh' looking k heehehe.. How could anyone possibly be attracted to me, oh gosh. Its a laughing matter, thinking back, never feel kecik hati at all. But its a most wonderful memories that I can tell my children one day haahahaa..

Just like what my friend said, all this make one stronger. No doubt wiser, its all part of life. SO Grow up and MOVE ON! It not like we are living in the teens anymore. Its time to make decision and plan, whats best for you.

I am so into going back on memory lane..

Anything but Anuar!

On impulsive act, I bought a the 2nd highest price tickets to Anuar Zain's Concert. Ayah suggested that Mak go along with me to enjoy the moment. The decision about going was only made on Thursday at 5pm. Went online, Ayah handed the his card and book them! And that evening, went to collect them.

Honestly, I knew it very very very well, that if I didnt get to go I will be at home thinking "must miss lagu itu and lagu ini." However, I'm sad that Nya' couldnt come with me. She miss ALL of those shows with Anuar. Takpe Nya' kalau ALLAH izinkan, sampai bila bila pun akan ada pertemuan nya.. Just remember the moment on the phone with him few years back Nya', that will make you feel real goooood...

So there I was with Mak, left home after Maghrib to Esplanade. Feeling excited, at the same time I know that I will meet people. There were some who claim that they will SURE meet me...

I sing along to ALL the songs, the opening of Keabadian Cinta, then somewhere in the middle was Permata and at the end were Teman Terulung. That really reminded me to Nazrah, I keep telling Mak, "ni lagu Naz, Mak."

PlayPause is responsible for all the Creative Flyers & souvenior Programme.. WELL DONE PlayPause! Syabas.

The crowd was a bit noise, I was expecting to 'tangkap feel' listening to the slow numbers just like how i listen to them over MP3 when you're feeling down.

The usual people are still as faithful as us, Diana, Gee, Tini and a few more of those from our previous Hang Out Raya Gang. I'm sure Zee and Wan will feel the warm that Anuar given when he meet the person, he will make you feel important. Then you will keep coming and coming..

Ok, enough of that. Today there are wedding and kenduri to attend.. On a different note, I'm feeling slightly better and calmer, Alhamdulliah..

Enjoy the reminding of a wonderful Sunday!

Through out the WHOLE show, my mind and heart was somewhere else. You never left my heart, trust me.. I'm sorry Abang. This is for you..

Hanya Milikmu

Aku tak salahkan hatimu, Bila harap itu tak ada, Tak relakan bila terjadi, hanya waktu yang tentukan. ku ingin kuatkan hatimu (setiamu), Yakin ku hanyalah milikmu, Besar cintaku tak berubah, Walau kini rasa itu luluhkan hatimu. c/o Ku hanya milik mu, Coba kau rasa yakinnya hatiku, Meski kau tinggalkan, Masih ku milikmu, Mengertikah bila cinta ini, Tak akan pernah sedikit pun pudar, Selain untuk mu (untuk mu). Ku harapkan hanya padamu, Ketulusan ini nanti kan ku jalani, Tetap ku milikmu, Mengertikah bila cinta ini, Memang tak pernah sedikit pun pudar, Selain untuk mu

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pantai dah berubah..

Something has gone wrong... Test been more challenging. I'm going thru another test in life.

I am able to take it calmly, yet again, if its meant to be then its meant to be..

ALLAH menentukan segalanya, Hanya dia yang tahu apa yang kita Tidak ketahui. Kebenaran akan terbukit kelak Insya ALLAH. Setiap sesuatu itu terjadi ada hikmah nya. Aku Redha akan ketentuan nya. Segala nya datang dari NYA.

Doakan agar Aku lebih kuat menghadapi segala nya ini. Insya ALLAH.

There are things in life that you know very well that you’re not willing to let go off. You still hold on to those things from the past and ponder over it wonder why this and why that.

Lately I had the time to myself, sitting down somewhere quiet and peaceful, re think about things and considering over matter if I’m at the right path. I use to do that a lot especially when I’m feeling confuse over things and time some time to myself. I did that on a lovely Saturday afternoon at Clarke Quay (near Moulana Mosque) spending more than an hour there.

I went all the way back 10years back, thinking what has happen to people from the past. Hope he is doing fine with his family, if he has another child already. His daughter must have already 5years old right now. Ya, he was my first love.. Was he? I was 26yrs old that time.. Then I recall back, the person I thought was my 1st love, actually he was not. It was someone else back when I was 21yrs old! It was Y..

I received THE wedding invitation last Saturday, sms the Groom thanking him for the invitation. I said, glad that you met your ‘jodoh’ not knowing that the person is so near to you all this while. He replied back, “she was the person who initiate and persuade me to get to know you when you 1st join us back then.”

That night, on the phone with Y. Before even I get to tell Y about it, he already sense it. He said to me last night, “I think He still thinks of you..” Alah, I baru nak story what he said to me, you already said that.. No lah, come on, he must be greatful that there is someone who appreciate him more not like I do. I know its not easy to forget whats in the past. I’m sorry, I’ve cause all the hurt. I will doakan the best for him, Insya ALLAH.. He will has a the new challenge, an instant Teenage Daughter..

I thought that I’ll be asked to attend a conference this Friday, to help out in the event. Unfortunately (or fortunately) I don’t have to go, but then, I’ll be all alone in the office when all my ‘gangs’ going away half day. Then I will have to lunch alone… But I know I dont have to stay late and going home alone from the jauh venue the held it..

I just got a called, I've got people telling me things. But its alright, I do not wish to jump into conclusion. Back to what I said time and again, If it happens, then it happens lah.. Biarlah Takdir menentukan. HE know what the best for hamba2 nya. Its ok to listen to things, but open you mind and absorb it. Then you know how to act on it..

I love my off day..

Family Gathering.. Quality Time..

Last Sunday was my 2nd cousin, Tura's wedding. The family is staying the opposite block to us. Just like how I predicted, my mom's cousin come over to visit Tok who is just next door to us. We were at the wedding venue since Saturday. Even though there was not much 'rewang' to do, but the presence of the extended family gathering was already happening. I had to forgo the open house invitation by Julyani that same Sunday because I was more concern about the relative coming over to our place..

On Monday - Divali PH, I have made prior plans with Y to bring the kids out. I also suggested going to the Zoo during the school holidays. Didnt know that Y told the kids that WE are all going to the Zoo on Monday. Naqiyah sms me asking, "aunty Noris, are we going to the Zoo on Monday?" Told her have to discuss it with Ayah as yet. The plan was, if we are going to the Zoo, I was going to ask Zaf to assist on free passes at least we can save some entrance tickets. Y spend almost $100 for 5 of us including the tramp ride.. "$92!" Mak datuk! Lemah lutut when I heard the cashier said the amount.

I knew very well that Y will never thought of food, I have it all plan before hand. Mak help me with Roti John and I fried some epok2 and fish nuggets for the kids. Dah nama nya budak, mesti lah cepat lapar kan.. I remind myself to buy drinks at Cheers or 7eleven. Dah agak mesti lupa, we had to make do with buying drink at the push cart at $2 for a bottle of coke. Lemah lagi aku.. Mahal. Duit abis macam air!

It was raining at almost 3pm. Alhamdulliah, Y bought the tickets with tramp ride or else we will have to walk in the rain.. Drove back home, on the way, Y stop at Masjid Tempatan Sembawang to sempurnakan the fee for his korban this year. My 1st time at the Mosque, it was rather remote, but it looks really kampung around the area. I met my cousin Isham who is attending to the drama shooting with the Local Artist. Y said, it was for Raya Haji drama..

I really enjoy the day, so were the kids. Nadiah and Naqiyah indeed enjoy themselves that day. So as Nabil..

Tomorrow, we will be gathering at Angah's place at Riverina View. They are having kenduri for their Departure for Haj and I clearly remembered its Haris and Angah's birthday tomorrow.. There will be more kenduri and more wedding in the coming weeks.. There will be Shariff cucu Tok Ngah's wedding on the 9th Nov. I hope I should be expecting a wedding invitation (that I've been waiting for) on the 16th Nov, Jumari will be getting married. He has sms me last week. I told him, I'll be coming with my Partner! haahaha..

My 2nd sister Norafida, will be departing for Haj this 3rd December Insya ALLAH. Please send some Doa for her, hope she is in good health and be back home save. She will be going alone, departing with the MUIS medical team. Alhamdulliah, she got selected a few months back after a few hundred of them attended the interview.. We will be having a kenduri for her at out place soon too, insya ALLAH..

I've been going thru some test in life. But I'm handling it well, Alhamdulliah. Thank you to those who give me logical feedback and comments. It really knock some sense onto me. Two (or more) heads is better than ONE!

Have a good weekend Ahead!

silent annoucement..

If you dont get invited Noris, dont be dishearten. Its alright.. There must be a reason why you're not in the invitation list. Perhaps, it will make that 'luka lama berdarah kembali kot?" hehehe.. Ok I'm trying to console myself. I've people telling me that they got invited but I been telling them, No tak dapat pun...

Anyway, I've been bumping into old airport friend this days especially when I'm out with Mak or other friends. But so far when I'm out with Y, we didnt meet any of OUR old colleagues anywhere. Maybe, its was not time yet. ALLAH belum izinkan.. So when I meet this people, I will tell Y. The best part was, when he met this people at work, he will asked or talk about it. Most of them knew about us being together the last time. So when they heard about us getting back together NOW, they get very surprise about it. I'm glad that Y is ready to tell them about us 'patching back' thats what he always tell them. "Dia tunggu kau lah Y!" That was what they said to him. I didnt wait for him eh, I dont want people getting the wrong idea all together that I've remain single all this years and I'm like 'right here waiting'. Please eh, I move on after we broke up. I meet and date and got engaged before anyway. Well, I should give credit to Y for telling them about us.

I had an exchange sms with a close friend. Telling me that I SHOULD consider the feeling of Y's kids making sure that they agree with me being with their Ayah. So far things are going fine, but we are working things out. I remembered Y's sentence everytime we talk about things.. he always said to me, his children comes first and thats his priority. To me, anything that has to do with th children or his Abah I will hve no objection. If any plans has to be cancelled because of this people, I have no said about it. Oh yes and work to.. If work calls, I am the last on the list too.

Ok well said, I'm so in the mood to clear things up. Not TRYING to make people agree with me, but need people to understand me. I know not everyone agrees to my idea of having to accept someone new like Y who is a father of 3. But to me, as long as my parents agree, my dearest Atok likes Y, my family accepted it then I will go ahead with it. At the same time, the Doa's are most important in what ever you do. I will follow my heart and the sign that I get thru prayers, the rest just follows...

Nadiah just got her results, she sms her Ayah that she'll be in Sec 2 Normal Academic next year, Alhamdulliah. Congrats Darling.. You need to work harder next year..

Ok enough said.. Ciao!